The Road to Independence

      I don't know if it is a universal difference between boys and girls, but it certainly is the difference between my boy and my girl.  The quest for independence.  I've been noticing this a lot lately as Alivia exercises her right to an opinion of how she wants to do things or what she wants to play with or what she wants to eat or drink.  Over the last 2 days she has been reluctant to let mama spoon feed her yogurt, cereal, or cottage cheese, shaking her head and loudly shouting "No No No!!"   So today I place her bowl of strawberries and cottage cheese in front of her with a training spoon.  Much to my surprise she managed to feed herself that cottage cheese, with little mess!  I'm not sure why I was so surprised.  After all, developmentally it is expected that a child this age should be feeding herself.  Maybe it is because her brother showed no interest in feeding himself until he was close to 2 years old!!  





      Then there is her uncanny (and sometimes stealthy) ability to undress herself.  I mean, I turn my head for a minute, and the next thing I know she has herself stripped down to her diaper (I guess I should be thankful she leaves that much on).  There have been several afternoons when she has spent more time undressing herself than napping.  And her attempts to undress began at around 9 months old.  Damon on the other hand could have cared  less about being able to dress or undress himself until he was three.  And that was only because I forced the issue when Alivia was born. And it's only been in the past 6 months or so that he has been able to put on his own shirt.    And only within the past 2 weeks that he has been able to put on his own sneakers (tying them will have to wait). 

 

     And don't get me wrong.   I'm not comparing my children to say one is better or smarter than the other...I'm just noticing how different each is.  Alivia seems to excel in the personal care areas...while Damon shows more Independence when it comes to playing and imagination and running, and moving his body in BIG ways.  Alivia is careful and timid at times; Damon is brave and daring.   Damon is more socially confident; Alivia needs reassurance from her Mama.  I enjoy watching my children on their quest for independence and the new freedom I have found. 

     I love my children.  I love everything that makes them unique creations.  They are amazing...and I can't imagine my life without them! 

Damon Rides his scooter, February 2011

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. "   ~Psalm 139:14

 Damon learns to put on his shirt March 2011













Fish and Chips

     Today's entry is the first of what I will call "Flash Back Friday."  The stories are glimpses into the past, the story of how I got here, how I became the Mom I am today, and who my family is.  I hope you enjoy reading these stories, and learning a bit more about my family and I.  Today's story is a fun one, and an actual journal entry of mine!

"February 11. 2011
     "For the past several months, or maybe the better part of the past year, Damon has been begging for a pet.  He wanted a rabbit; a soft black rabbit that he could cuddle.  And we actually considered it (!)...for a moment.  Rabbits require a lot of work, and in the well-intentioned hands of a 3-year old, I knew disaster would be lurking.
    "Then he decided he wanted a dog...not a big one, "just a beagle, like Snoopy."  That idea was quickly vetoed.  Seriously, who was going to walk the dog---everyday?  in the rain?  in the snow?  in the wind?  or when the temps reach -10??  Certainly you don't expect me to do that!!!!!  (And this doesn't even explain how I feel about being a pooper-scooper).
     "And so, we made a deal, my son and I.  He could get a fish for his 4th Birthday.  So for a few weeks now he's been making plans for his fish.  Where will the fish sleep?  What will the fish eat, and how much?  He's been so excited and tells everybody he meets about the fish he's getting for his birthday.
     "Today was the big day!  We bought the fish bowl and stones on our trip to the mall this afternoon.  When Daddy got home from work Damon couldn't wait to tell him about the fish bowl and stones he had picked out.  After dinner we headed out to the pet store to choose our new pet.  We looked at tetras and goldfish.  Then onto the Betta fish.  So many pretty colors--there were white, red, blue and purple ones!  Damon finally chose a bright blue Betta, and we were quickly on our way home.
     "The conversation on the way home centered on the name for our new addition.  Some of Damon's ideas included: Rocky, Stone, and Damon (he said it would be easy to remember! ha ha).  We talked about the names of fish I had owned a decade or more ago--Poseidon, Neptune, and Noah.  Finally, at home, Damon announce the name of his fish---Felipe!  Already before bed tonight, i overheard Damon explaining the house-rules to his new friend. 
     " So my little Damon has adopted his first pet, and we are all hoping Felipe is as excited to be here as Damon is to have him! 
     " Goodnight, my Damon.
     " Goodnight, Felipe."

     Hard to believe that was 6 months ago, and Damon is still loving his fishy friend.  He's always talking to him, telling him about his day!  
    

Oh, Pickles!

     One of my fondest memories of going to Grandma's house was her garden.  From fruit trees to potatoes and corn, she had it all.   Every summer she always saved a spot in her garden for me to grow something.  One year I remember growing peanuts, and was surprised to learn that they grown under the ground!  But I also remember being impatient to let them dry after we dug them up. 
     Most summers, though, I grew cucumbers.  Lots and lots of cucumbers.  And what do you do with all those cucumbers?  I mean you can only eat so many on sandwiches and in salads.  Make pickles of course.  And while Grandma would make the standard canned dill pickles, my favorites were always the Refrigerator pickles.  She always had a container of them in the fridge when we would visit, and she almost always sent some home with us too. 
     Several years ago Grandma's days of gardening and cooking came to an end when she moved to a retirement home.  When it came time to clean out her home, one of the treasures I wanted most was her recipe box. And recipe books, many with her handwritten notes in the margins.  Good memories of times spent with Grandma in her kitchen.  

     Now that I am an adult, and have a garden of my own, cucumbers are still one of my favorite things to grow.  And what does one do with all those cucumbers?  Why, make pickles of course!  Inside that recipe box was Grandma's refrigerator Pickle recipe!  And now,  for the first time ever on the Internet, I share her recipe with you!   

6 c. thinly sliced cucumbers
2 c. thinly slice onions
1 1/2 c. sugar
1 1/2 c. vinegar
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp. mustard seed
1/2 tsp celery seed
1/2 tsp ground turmeric

In a glass bowl (or in jars), layer the sliced cucumbers onions.
In a medium saucepan combine sugar, vinegar, salt, mustard seed, celery seed and turmeric; bring to boiling, stirring just until sugar is dissolved. 
Pour vinegar mixture over cucumber/onions; cool slightly.  Cover tightly; refrigerate at least 24 hours before serving.  Store up to 1 month in refrigerator. 
Makes 7 cups.

Grandma enjoying a moment with her Great-Grand kids, July 2011

Walks with Damon

     I'm guessing this will be the first of many similiar posts about funny things my 4-yr old says and does.  He is very literal, and exploring his imagination at the same time.  He is also learning appropriate social skills (eye contact when talking, respecting personal space, etc.).  All of these provide many opportunities to chuckle.  This is the tale of our most recent journey to lour local supermarket to purchase a snack.  The 4 1/2 mile round-trip walk provided a great outlet for Damon's seemingly boundless energy, and some much needed "Mommy and Son" time.


    Argueably, one of the biggest things Damon has been missing since Alivia's birth last year has been alone-time with his Mama.  Oh, don't get me wrong.  Damon loves his little sister, and she adores him.  He just doesn't always want to share me.  And no doubt, he gained a great deal of time with me when I traded my office job for mountains of laundry, sinkfulls of dirty dishes, and piles of diapers when Alivia was born.  I'm with him more now than I ever was during his first 3 years...but Alivia is always there too.  Alivia still naps--a lot.  So there are windows of time when we get to spend time working on various projects...but Damon wants...needs...more
     So over the past few weeks, Damon and I have been going for walks, while Alivia stays home to play with Daddy.  Most of the time we just walk through our neighborhood, often stopping at the playground.  But tonight we decided to venture into town in search of a snack at our local grocery store. 
      On our walk Damon was wearing his Pittsburgh Steelers Jersey.  The #7 to be exact.  The Jersey provided a good conversation starter for him with some teenagers who were sitting on their front steps.   Damon has recently taken an interest in football...especially anything Steelers.  But he also like the Colts, and the Giants.  But mosty just Steelers. 
     Some of the funny things Damon did tonight (and things only a 4-yr old can get away with) were these:  As we walked past one particular house, Damon spied a cat in a window.  He walked right up to the window (nose-touching the glass) to get a better look...much to the surprise of the family sitting inside!!!  At another house he saw a scooter that he liked sitting on a front porch.  He walked right up on the portch to check it out. 
   But the best parts of these walks are the conversations.  Tonight's walk did not disappoint. 
     "I'm the real Ben Roethlisberger, you know," Damon announced (his imagination at its best).
     "Oh really?" I asked.   "Shouldn't you be at football camp practicing for football season?"
     "Huh.  I'm Big Ben.  I don't need to practice, Mama!"


     As we headed home, the conversations turned to affirmations of my love, his questions about God, life, and the moon.
    I'm certain there will be more walks with Damon.  More big ideas.  More questions.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.

The Writings on the Wall

I suppose it must be a "rite of passage" of sorts for all preschoolers.  I know I did it, and now my 4-year old son is guilty as well.  However normal, it is frustrating nonethless.

     When Damon was younger he rather disliked coloring with crayons.  This was somewhat disappointling for this Mama who always enjoyed coloring as a child...and has even found it relaxing and somewhat therapeutic as an adult.    So trying to be the good mom I thought I was supposed to be, I purchased all the gizmos and gadgets designed to help little hands hold crayons and color--all to no avail.  <sigh>

     It has only been a recent discovery that we now know why Damon has been so resistant to coloring (and most recently writing).  Turns out he is very likely ambidextrous.  As a result, he has developed little strength in either of his hands, and it was difficult, possibly even painful, for him to grip a crayon, or pencil.  With the help of a wonderful Occupational Therapist, we are slowly overcoming this challenge.  In fact, Damon has, at least for now, decided he'll use his right hand for coloring and drawing. 

    Damon now declares, "I just love to color!"  There have actually been a few occasions when he has trouble falling asleep at night because he's "just so excited to color tomorrow!" My refridgerator is now covered in Damon's crayoned artwork.  His skills at drawing stick-peopleis finally developing quite nicely too.  It's been fun watching him grow and mature in this area in the past few weeks.

     His declarations of love for the art of coloring bless this Mama's heart---usually.  Today, however, was a different story entirely.  After lunch, Damon came bounding into the kitchen, where Steve and I were chatting and announced, "I just colored on the wall, but I'm gonna clean it up!"   Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

     

 Damon was immediately sent to his room to have a time-out and give me time to assess the situation and come up with a plan of discipline that was both loving and firm. What met my eyes as I walked into the living caused me to gasp...possibly in disbelief, definitely in horror! There staring back at me...in BLACK crayon..was a series of huge circles, crosses, and Xs!!!! On 2 walls and a windowsill! While I really wanted Damon to enjoy coloring and drawing, this most certainly was not what I had in mind.    

      After taking a few minutes to breathe and resist the urge to scream (remember Damon is still upstairs sitting in time-out), I walked into the kitchen, grabbed a bucket, a clean scrubby-sponge, and a bottle of soap.  After I had a small amount of warm soapy water in the bucket, I put Damon to work cleaning up his "masterpiece."  It took him a while, and I don't know if he "learned his lesson."  I suppose time will be the true measure of that.   I do know, the next time I hear him declare his affection for coloring, I will most likely cringe as I remember today's writings on the walls. 

    

A Mother is...

Loving.

"Love...patiently accepts all things. 
It always trusts, always hopes, and
always continues strong."
1 Corinthians 13:7

The Mystery of the Disappearing Bottle

     So today ends week one of what I have affectionately dubbed "Baby Boot Camp."  I am trying to wean Alivia from her bottle.  At almost 17 months, it really is time.  At least I think so.  Alivia, apparently, has a whole other veiw of the situation. 
     When Alivia was born, she was a breastfed only baby.  In fact, until she was 10 months old, she refused to drink from a bottle at all.  This, of course, posed some complications for me  as it was very very difficult for me to ever leave the house with out my precious baby girl...especially if I was going to be gone during a feeding time.  So I thought, "Great.  I'll never need to worry about the bottle thing with her.  We just won't ever use one!"  And Alivia laughed. 
     At around 10 1/2 months old, it became necessary for me to leave Alivia with my mom for a few hours and so a bottle became a necessity.  Alivia suddenly decided she would drink milk or formula from a bottle, and would take it from anyone!  This was the beginning of our current trouble.
     When Alivia was 15 months old, I decided that she was done nursing.  She decided that was ok, as long as she could have not 1, but 2 bottles everyday!  What????  What happened to my "no-bottles baby???"   She would wake up in the morning chanting "ba-ba ba-ba ba-ba."  Then again at bedtime the chanting would begin again. 
     Knowing that the recomendation is to have children off the bottle by 12 months, I consulted with our pediatrician, who assured me this was ok, and even normal for a baby who was abruptly weaned from breast-feeding.  But she also explained that it was important to try to take the bottle completely by 18 months old.  Which is why we are now trying to make the bottles disappear.
     As Alivia's 18 month well-child visit approaches, I realize I need to make some positive steps toward accomplishing this goal.  Alivia, however, has a plan all her own.  
     So on Monday, instead of giving in to her demands for a "ba-ba," I plopped her in her highchair and shoveled a bowlful of porridge (oatmeal and applesauce) into her waiting mouth and gave her a sippy cup of cold milk to drink...which she promptly threw right back at me!  Later that day she "asked" to nurse (yeah right, like I'm gonna let her do that again).  By the end of the day she had taken 1 sip of her milk from the sippy cup, so I gave in and gave her the bottle at bedtime (which she guzzled like it was the best stuff on Earth).  Defeat.
     Day two and three were pretty much the same as the first one...more requests to nurse, more sippy cup throwing, and increasing crankiness!  But by the end of day 4, she managed to drink 6 oz. of cold milk from her sippy cup.   So 1 bottle has disappeared.  Soon, I'm sure she won't even remember it. 
    So that is where we will remain...allowing 1 bottle a day at bedtime (followed by teeth brushing).   Afterall she is still my "baby."